Testament

In my life I had witnessed so much, and at times, perhaps not enough. Sometimes what I witnessed compelled me to stand taller than I would otherwise; other times, unfortunately, I had but no choice than to take refuge in some god-forsaken trench, cowering to the whims of my world. Perhaps then I was too weak to fight back. Drugs and alcohol could weaken one's resolve, this I know.

I had come many a mile in my journey, all for good reason of course.

In my life I had witnessed so much. Through discourse and gain, through triumph and tragedy, I had traveled. And learned. There were times when I laughed and times when I cried. Some could say I'm a true warrior, and perhaps the scars of battle etched within the inner sanctum of my being could reveal this simple truth. But, like any warrior, I fought to defend. Honor, dignity, integrity - they mean so much to me. As does compassion, understanding, forgiveness.

In my life I had shared what meager possessions I held. Selfishness, I could never subscribe to. . . no, it is much easier for me to give than take.

In my time I had been a martyr, sometimes out of necessity, other times by choice. At times I had sacrificed but knowingly. An old line from an old song echoes in my head: "Sacrifice, the future has its price and today is only yesterday's tomorrow."

Even when I was living in the park, cold and rained upon, I smiled back at the world. Deep down, I knew. My inner strength had compelled me, moved me and yes, there were times when I felt like giving in. But they were only momentary lapses of reason. I would gather myself and move on, today is only yesterday's tomorrow. Yes, I will fight my way through yet another storm.

In my life there had been so much to be grateful for; sometimes it is easier to remember what I do have versus what I don't. Quite possibly, that is why I had made it here. Simple philosophies, I assure you. I had read a few of the classical philosophers and their philosophies are beyond the realms of simplicity. For now, I will be my own philosopher. Much simpler.

I do not adhere much to the doctrines of any set religion. Spiritually, I'm at the helm. Politics, a way of the world, at times I must take a stand, but not one that I find to be incorrigible. I'm against a lot of what is taking place in the world, and a lot of what I witness saddens me, really it does. Again, a simple philosophy: "I cannot carry the world on my shoulders but on my shoulders it is my world that must carry me." I cannot worry as much as I once did what happens outside my window. I can only do what I can in my own small ways to change what I can; whether it be through the written word and/or through the powers of being. I had, in the past, witnessed what many may deem to have been miracles. A matter of perspective, perhaps. But there have been events in my own life that defy convention, perhaps could be viewed as mere coincidence. As a realist, I also must determine the odds though my idealism would provide me enough reason to judge otherwise.

Do not judge me as a victim of unforeseen circumstances, I'm a result of what these circumstances had provided me. I harbor no ill-feelings of what course my life had taken for I've been strengthened by it. Through my ordeals battling alcoholism and witnessing the dissolution of my family, I had found solace, perhaps a much keener understanding. I still wish, I still pray, I still want.

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Again, a long night has led me back here - Today. The sun is shining brightly. I'm reminded of an old song: "The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older and one day closer to death." Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon. Yes, one day closer to death, one day further from birth. Ah, birth. . . I love that word. It means so much to me. I must admit, I'm not too fond of the word death though. Death could connote the end while birth signifies the beginning.

The beginning: I was born a poor white boy. So what? Who cares? It matters not to me if I was born a poor white boy nor would I mind if I was born a poor black boy . . . Opportunities exist, bottom line. Adversity, I love that word too. It provokes challenge. Ah, challenges. So many challenges in life, aren't there? Writing could be a challenge. Writing about your life as a poor white boy could be more of a challenge. So what? Who cares?

From an early age, I wondered about things. Most of us do, makes us human. I wondered about the world in which I had entered. With all its many colors and textures and its people. I learned early on that people are capable of many different things. Like building. And at the same time, destroying. But I was a curious poor white boy. And if I was born a poor black boy, I would've been just as curious, I know I would, I just know it. A blue boy, a white boy, a purple boy, a black boy - all human, I swear. Same with the white girl, black girl, also human. Interesting concept, we humans are, aren't we? Besides our individual personalities, traits, heritage, we are all woven from the same cloth. I am an egalitarian too, believe strongly in equality for all. Balance, yes balance!

From an early age I sought answers. Didn't you? When I was young I had more questions than answers. And today, well, I don't have all the answers, never will. Not if I'm human. In which I am. My mother, she gave birth to me like any other human mother would. Yes, she held me in her womb for nine months. I'm classified as a mammal. But humans are not the only mammals in this world. There are others, I swear. I've been to the zoo you must know. At an early age I saw Sinbad the Gorilla and Leo the lion. Behind bars, made me cry. "Why Momma? Why are those animals in jail?" No easy answer for a four year old. At four years old, I had questions. Sometimes answers never came though. As I got older, some of my earlier questions were answered and some of them, still made me cry. I'm an emotional being, most humans are. I swear they are. Some humans, they may have a lesser conscience though. Some, I guess are behind bars now. Maybe it's better that way, I don't know.

Broken Dreams,
leavin' me cold...lonely in the night
My empty heart growing so old
seems to be no hope in sight

Promises that hadn't been kept
lingering deep in my mind
rememberin' all the times I'd wept,
feeling helpless and blind

So sure that there's no way out
seems to be no cure in this final bout

Voices calling my name
Through the silent night
Shadows of an eternal flame,
flickering so bright

Weakened and distraught,
I search for the door
It seems I've been caught
in this endless war

But then September 11, 1992
a hurricane flew through
and helped to open my eyes
I was stopped from doing
what I had planned to do
I was given back my life,
a gift, a cherished prize

by: Ricky J. Fico

"You mustn't lose sleep over dreams not yet reached but reach for the dreams that will ensure a peaceful sleep." This quote of mine is nicely inscribed on my beautifully-designed "Dreams Too" series of inspirational gifts, keepsakes and apparel. Please take a moment! Thank you.

Sponsorship and Patronage is vital in this world!

(as it was over five hundred years ago -The High Renaissance)

The Messenger

As a few of you who may know me well enough, perhaps you'd understand what I am trying to accomplish... Because of the bounty of circumstances in my life (a few that may be deemed inexplicable) I have sought answers. Not only to my mere existence but answers to the chain of events that led me to where I am today....

For those who had read some of my memoirs, such as The Bookcase you'd perhaps understand the reasons why I am more of an inspirational writer than anything else.

You see, my life was wrought with uncertainties, but for the longest time, I didn't understand the reasons why. But after looking clearly at my life and the myriad of events that defy convention or coincidence I have come to the conclusion as to why I am here.

No, I am not God, I am not Jesus.... What I am, though, is perhaps what I've always been --- a messenger! And to fulfill my role as messenger I had to waddle my way through one heck of an obstacle course. I know now the reasons why though -- to make me stronger, to provide me with a greater understanding, to provide me more compassion, to provide me the many tools that would help me fulfill my duties. Today's world is much more complex than it was then!

And let me clarify a point, for the longest time I was numbed to my existence by alcohol etc. and it really wasn't until September 11, 1992 that I was awakened although I had been presented many signs previously although I thought then merely coincidence or simple serendipity, ah, but we all have those special moments, don't we?

It is my thought: "It is okay to judge a book by its cover as long as the cover reveals its true content in a timely and orderly fashion." This is inscribed neatly on my "Impressions" series of inspirational gifts, keepsakes and apparel.

The Beginning (Revival)

A Brief Introduction:

Marsilio Ficino (Latin name: Marsilius Ficinus; Figline Valdarno, October 19, 1433 - Careggi, October 1, 1499) was one of the most influential humanist philosophers of the early Italian Renaissance, an astrologer, a reviver of Neoplatonism who was in touch with every major academic thinker and writer of his day, and the first translator of Plato's complete extant works into Latin। His Florentine Academy, an attempt to revive Plato's school, had enormous influence on the direction and tenor of the Italian Renaissance and the development of European philosophy.

Now, in part, through transcendence and clarity, a revival of such time and magnificence is happening and I, Richard (Ricky) J. Fico had been summoned to deliver upon a promise...one that seemingly I made a long time ago.

I haven't much in formal education but what I do have is much more valuable. And part of this knowledge and understanding that I had promised to impart to you can only be made possible if you, and let me stress this emphatically, share with me your knowledge and understanding as I am still a mere student. I've a simple quote I wrote not so long ago: "A Greedy mind is to learn, yet not teach and A Lazy mind is to yearn, yet not reach." I think you understand what I am saying. Oh, and this quote is inscribed nicely upon my inspirational gifts: Power of Mind

As the days progress brightly into the nearer horizons of the "Golden Renaissance" you will, in large measure, be more resourceful, more tranquil, more successful...oh, I know it, I always knew this simple fact....

Although, to a certain degree, our very nature stems from a past most often hidden, our present embodiment is guided in part, by that past but to a larger degree by circumstances that are more evident, more temporal. And it is with this thought of mine, that I will attempt to synthesize these two elements. In other words, what I will utilize in my journey forward are the lessons from the past with the lessons of today... For those who believe in the concepts of the eternal soul, synchronicity, even reincarnation, you will have a clearer understanding to much of what I will be relating here as much as I will have a greater understanding of what you, in turn, hopefully reveal or relate to me....